There are many parents that fear the teenage years. That fear may be merited because these are the years that the relationship between the kid and the family is being redefined.

The importance of friends rises for them, while the parents and siblings fall. The fruit of your labor is not as easily seen as it used to be. In some cases, it may even seem like your influence is outright rejected. If so, hang in there.

Your work is not in vain. This period can prove to be the most rewarding and most vibrant phase of parenting. Here are 10 keys to raising a great teenager:

1. Under all the scowls and frowns, your child is still there.

Even when they are dismissing you, there is a place deep down that is relieved you are there looking out for them. They still need your attention and acknowledgement. They may want more space, but they still want you to pursue them. Don’t let your hurt feelings stop you from doing it. That phase will end. Study them and how they are changing. Affirm their growth.

2. Let your love show.

All the love and affection they needed when they were younger, they still need now. Loving your kid means you need to find ways to express your love through your actions and words. Don’t leave your teen wondering where you stand on them. They may reject you, but a loving father never rejects his kids.